


Of dreams and nightmares

by Possibly_a_bit_obsessed



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Manipulation, Mentions of Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-03-08 05:11:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13451256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Possibly_a_bit_obsessed/pseuds/Possibly_a_bit_obsessed
Summary: Days turn to night and so can a man. during the day he cares but at night he terrifies. When dreams become nightmares and then... they become your reality





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> SPOLERS (sort of, if you haven't read all D. Grey-man). Hope you like ;)

The earl was going to make akuma, like every night he roamed both streets and the Ark’s gaits looking for poor unfortunate souls. His mind drifted. Drifted to that man with that child. The child whose red hair and brash personality was always at the back of his mind and that man. He hates that man but not that child. He could never hate that child or could he. Part of him saw that child a screamed for him to destroy it. To crush something that could kill him, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t bare to kill the child who that man travelled with, whenever he appeared next to them he reaches out to destroy it, but he pulled back, always pulling away. Never following through with the deepest instincts.

Road sat on building. She was worried, the Earl had abruptly stopped mid-stride in the streets of the Ark. No matter how long she tried to follow him for, she always lost him during the day. She was worried. She remembered how happy he once was. When it was Neah, Allen and the Earl. Altogether, happy. Then that happened and it all went wrong. By the time she had stopped drifting in the past the Earl had vanished and the Ark gate he was near was too gone with the wind.

The Earl stepped out of the Ark. He landed by a dingy, old, small hotel on the city edge. He walked in and smiled at the child asleep on a bed of a tattily blanked on the hard bed. The Earls suit vanished into the air around him and he now looked at Allen the cursed child, the one who he had saved from himself, and who had saved him from sinking into the nightmares of people who mourned the death of the people who they loved and then they became machines that would kill anyone they will see. They were just dreams. Nightmares in the dark, products of his mad mind but now he had Allen. His anchor.

Mana wondered why he was standing and thinking about nightmares he had. He tried to remember when he had left of his pile of blankets that acted like a bed and couldn’t. He shrugged it off. What mattered was the amount of sleep he could get before they would start walking. Walking to the next village, the next performance, the next meal. He would keep walking because if he stopped for just a day he would be consumed by his nightmares and then, what would happen to Allen. What would he do to Allen because deep down he knew the nightmares were more than just nightmares. He knew he had turned people into killing machines and didn’t it terrify him.


	2. Chapter 2

Walking. Always walking. Day after day, night after night. Dreams and nightmares blending into one. He once walked alone and then with Allen but before that he walked with his brother. His other half. They ran through the fields of long golden grass. Then they were joined by Allen. The only other one who fitted into the duo and now they are both gone now. He only had Allen. He was lost in memories of the past and stopped dead in the street.

“Mana” Allen asked, confusion in his voice. “what the hell are you doing?”

Allen had continued to walk, over taking Mana who usually lead him to the next town they would perform in. Allen knew that mana would vanish at night and this one was no different. He didn’t like to be alone on the streets it reminded him of a time before even the circus, with cold nights and hateful looks. The first time Mana had vanished he was terrified, he thought that Mana had left, just like everyone else in his life but now he ignored it. Even when that man, with the wide fake smile, hovered over him, he ignored it. If Mana could live with it then so could he. If Mana could deal with them man who brought the machines that destroyed the only thing he had ever known, then so could he.  
Mana startled, shocked as the voice broke through to him. His head jerked down to face Allen again. For a moment all he could see was the face of his old friend and the voice of a long-gone brother, then the image righted, and he only saw Allen. The boys head tilted to the side and his eyes narrowed in confusion. Mana blinked rapidly before forcing a smile onto his face and tilting his head, he strode forward acting like nothing had ever happened, like hid didn’t just see the face of his brother in the face of the child he was meant to care for, like he only first brought him with him due to the connection he had with the past. That was then, this is now. He had grown to care for Allen as his own person, he had seen the differences between him, Neah and Allen. Little Allen meant just as much to him now.

“let’s go Allen. The next town awaits us and our performance.” Manan said in a sing song voice.

They carried on down the long track road. Mana making comments on the new show and what he would teach Allen next. Allen protesting at the ideas that would come to Mana but deep in his heart he knew that someone cared enough to teach him how to survive in this harsh unforgiving world, even if like at times Mana looked and didn’t see him, he knew Mana would to anything to help him survive and carry on.  
As night started to fall Allen knew there would be another night sleeping on the road, unable to reach the next town by sunset they settle down on the grassland either side of the weather-beaten track, under the stars Allen turned to Mana. He wanted to know who the man really was that he would occasionally see standing over him when he was awake before Mana was. He only knew him as the man. The man who destroyed the circus, never a name, never a reason why he came.

“Mana, who’s that man? The creepy one who comes at night?” Allen asked. his accent coming through strongly due to curiosity tainted with fear.

Mana’s face fell from the almost permanent smile that adorned it.

“Why Allen if I didn’t know better I would say you were scared.”

“I ain’t scared, old man.” Allen interrupted

Mana’s face twitched at the interruption, but he didn’t complain.

“He used to know my brother and that’s why he follows us. Like me he is also searching for him, he on the other hand takes a more violent approach. As you know. That is all there is to it. Now Allen its time for us to go to sleep, after all we will make it to the next town tomorrow.” After this Mana gave Allen a forced smile and rolled over to go to sleep. Allen copies him.

The Earl rises from the ground. He looked at the boy, the urge to destroy him lingered but there was still that lingering affection, something he couldn’t place. Part of it came from his human side but there was something else. Something strange. The feeling was brushed aside. He could not stand here all night contemplating the boy. He had akuma to make, Road to see, Noah to find and he would not stop. He wasn’t strong enough to supress the human, but he would be soon. Soon he would be completely Noah and all traces of the disgusting human within him would be gone.

With that final thought he turned away. He opened the ark gate and strode through. The echo of dark matter told him that another Noah was awaking. The pulses were weak, and he could not yet pinpoint where the new member was, but he would find them, in time. For now, he would create more and more akuma. Until they day mankind were destroyed.  
Even as he went to the first grieving widow of the night a audible protest echoed in the back of his head. The echo cried out for him to stop to allow the humans to survive. It was there time now, but the Earl did not believe it. He couldn’t believe it. Not now, not ever.


	3. Chapter 3

There was a new Noah.

The Earl could feel the power of them, even as far away as they were, he could tell. The pulses increase, and he felt the urge to go a comfort his child who is enduring the pain of the transformation all alone, he needed Road for this.

Road could also tell that one of her siblings is awakening, even though it was far in the past now Road remembers the pain and terror that is felt. How the memories of the Noah within burned away at your soul, changing it into something else and how black matter burned your cells altering them to suite you new position as a member of the Noah family. The Noah of dreams felt a call within to go to her sibling, but she needed the Earl to come, so she waited in the ark, waiting for him to arrive.

The earl finally walked into the ark a few minutes later they joined together and left out of one of the ark gates. A new Noah had been born and they needed to check on the new child and finally after all these year bring a member home again. With this final thought they walked through an ark gate and to the Noah. 

****  
Mana was missing. Allen had woken up alone in a dark room. Tears threatened to flow out of his eyes, but he forcefully stopped them from falling.

“I don’t need Mana” he told himself in a broken whisper. “I never had someone like him before and I don’t need him now. I should leave like he did. Make my own way in the world”

Even though Allen knew that he should leave he couldn’t bring himself to pack the few belongings he owned and walk out of the room in which they were staying. He tried to justify it with thoughts of how he should make the most of the warmth provided by the room for as long as he could use it, the streets were cold and harsh. Especially in winter. He was lying to himself he stays in the in-case Mana came back. In-case that mana had just woken up early and forgotten that Allen had not also woken up and followed him out the door to go performing. Mana was like that he told himself, even though Mana never forgot anything. He could be silly, and his personality could shift unpredictably but he never forgot the important things, Allen hoped with all his heart that he was important to Mana.

So, Allen stayed in that room for hours, praying, hoping that Mana would walk through that door, grin childishly and joke about how Allen was always being lazy, staying in the room all day, letting him do all the work. Allen had hope, so Allen stayed.  
The sun had peaked in the sky and was making its slow decent into darkness, when Mana walked in. he had a look of temporary confusion on his face, that disappeared when he saw Allen, dozing on the floor after hours in the same position watching the door. A soft smile was now of his face, even if he couldn’t fully remember how he had left the building and what he was doing for so long while he was gone, but Allen didn’t need to know that. When Allen awoke he would make some story up to protect Allen from the truth. That he wasn’t so sure if his nightmares were still nightmares and that every passing day memories came to him telling him that he was once a lord over a powerful family, who visited those who grieve for the lost, but that was where it ended he didn’t know why he visited them. Mana knew that he didn’t want to know, that the truth would horrify him and make the nightmares he has even worse.

He banished this train of thought and picked Allen up to place him on the bed rather than the hard floor. Allen blearily opened his eyes and looked up and Mana with sleep filled eyes.

“where were you Mana?” Allen asked sounding more innocent than ever with the remnants of sleep in his voice “why did you leave without me?”

“I had to go and perform Allen. Money doesn’t make itself you know, and you needed to rest. I forget how young you are and how much work we do.”

Allen pretends to not hear Mana’s mention of his age, for some reason he believed that, at times, Allen worked too hard, but Allen had one thing on his mind. He curled his hand into Mana’s old tattered suit and asked Mana to make a promise.

“Mana, never leave me. Promise me you’ll never leave me alone again.” Allen’s voice was filled with badly hidden fear of loneliness and isolation.

A soft, tender yet strangely worried smile appeared on Mana’s face. “I promise Allen, I’ll always be with you no matter what happens.” 

Even as he spoke these words guilt rose up within him. He knew that one day he would leave Allen and making promises he couldn’t keep was a bad idea, but he couldn’t help it, Allen had sounded so small, unlike the personality he showed the world, he had sounded vulnerable. Mana knew that one day he would leave, and he hoped when that day came, Allen would be prepared.


	4. Chapter 4

The nightmare reaches a crescendo. Mana awakes yet he doesn’t. trapped inside a body that is no longer his. That body confined with in a suit that terrifies him, suddenly he is the villain of his own nightmare. He wanted to run away from himself. Leave this terrifying nightmare behind, but he couldn’t, he couldn’t leave this nightmare and as it continued to occur he realised this was no nightmare. His time as a human had ended, his time with Allen ending with a crash of wheels and the high-pitched whinnying of a horse. From there he knew nothing, until now.  
What was he now? Who was he now?  
Unable to stop he stepped forward walking through a graveyard to a small child curled up and leaning against a grave. The dry audible sobbing making him shiver in terror at the amount of sadness and grief in one child. Then he saw his face any resolve he once had to no be that man that hunted him was crushed. It was Allen. He cried out but never make a sound. He cried for him to run. To escape the nightmare that was about to envelope him too but no matter how much he cried out and struggles his body walked onwards, sprouting empty words of kindness to the boy who he had once made a promise to never leave.  
As Mana tried desperately to protest, against the body that was no longer his. A skeleton appeared, shrouded in the darkest light imaginable. The body spoke works to Allen, words that make Allen trust it. He approached the skeleton, hope in his eye, he thinks this is what Mana meant when he promised they would always be together. Mabey, he meant that only Allen could bring him back and then they could travel again. Allen felt hope that the only person to ever accept him would be able to be there for him again. That he wouldn’t be alone in this cold, harsh world that hated him. For this reason alone, he trusted the Man in the suit, even though he remembered what he had done the first time he saw him.

“call Mana back from your detestable god Allen” the suit said, and Allen did.

Mana was ripped from his body, one moment he was immovable in the suit, the next he was immovable in the skeleton a few moments he had been looking down on. He started to speak.

“Allen” his new body croaked “Why Allen. Why have you made me into an Akuma”?

“Mana” Allen was smiling as he addressed the skeleton that now held his adoptive father in. Allen’s face fell as Mana raised his metal arm to strike him. Mana didn’t want this he didn’t want to hurt Allen, but he couldn’t stop this body. The body wanted to kill Allen. Mana tried his best to resist what the skeleton wanted, the body landed on Allen. It raised its arm to land the killing blow, but Mana pushed all his will and love for this child’s crying on the floor under him into the arm. Its path diverted to slash across Allen’s face through his left eye, leaving wounds that spilled blood over his face and the ground beneath him.

“I curse you Allen Walker” Mana shouted. It felt like the right thing to say. It felt like his last message to Allen, and when his left arm glowed green and started to warp and morph into a giant arm. It pulled Allen across the ground to strike Mana.

“Destroy me Allen. Please, destroy me.” And with these whispered parting words, Mana knew that this chapter of Allen’s life had ended with him, but he knew that he had given Allen the last gift of his life and from now one they were enemy’s. Mana hated it, but he couldn’t do anything. With that Manas soul closed its eyes and fell asleep allowing the memory’s he had always supressed to take control. He wouldn’t awake for years, until he could see both his brother and son again.


	5. Chapter 5

The memory that is Adam was happy. In one night he had rid himself of both the human soul behind his new body and the small child he couldn’t help from not killing. That child had innocence he now realised, even more reason for it to die, he couldn’t bring himself to do it, but the child had brought his own destruction down upon himself. Adam would just reap the rewards with the removal of his last distractions as he left the graveyard behind. Soon he would call his new Akuma to him and command it to self-destruct, then and only then would he truly be free to destroy humanity.

Then it went wrong.

Suddenly he felt the soul return to the body. It was weak and unable to fully take control, but it was there. He suppressed it. Pushing all the memories of his brother’s failures and horrific death toward the soul crushing any resistance it may have, it couldn’t take control, he had too may plans for that to happen. He should have known. The boy had innocence. He could destroy the Akuma and release the soul of Mana again, why did he not think of this, why didn’t he try to destroy the child when he had rid himself of Mana. That was what he should have done but it was too late now. All he could do now is supress the soul and hope the boy never realises what he can truly do with that left arm of his.

Adam moved through the ark. He had a family dinner to have, after all there were more Noah to meet. There little family had grown since the last dinner, where there as once only three, there are now eight. Only five left to come home and the other one, but he didn’t really count, he wasn’t part of this family anymore. Hopefully they would all be there, but you would never know with Tyki acting like a miner and Sherell running a country. Who knew when they could next meet up as a completed family, Adam hoped that it would be soon, he could worry about the child later.

*******

Allen sat against the gravestone bleeding, he didn’t want to move. He had killed Mana, they couldn’t be together because of him. Even if that was what Mana wanted, it was not what he wanted but he could, he would follow what Mana wanted and Mana let him live, so Allen would live. With this new-found determination that he was living like Mana wanted him to. Mana wanted him to live and so he would live, for Mana.

Allen struggled to stand up. Leaning against the gravestone for support when he was finally upright. He made one step and then another and not before long he was up and walking. Walking away from the graveside of the only man in his life he could call father and into a new beginning. Allen didn’t notice when the cross on his left arm glowed green. The innocence imbedded in his arm, glowing with the knowledge that this accommodator that it had chosen would serve god well. He had chosen a good fighter for this never-ending battle. Allen didn’t notice that he could now move his previously immobile arm, but what Allen did notice was that where Mana had slashed with his arm had stopped bleeding, it started to hurt but Allen kept walking, walking onward forever. Until the day he could re-join with Mana.

He walked into the dark of the night, and when his eye changed and showed him souls like Mana’s he walked to them as well, and when he arrived at his destination he walked to the Akuma, intending to destroy them like he destroyed Mana after all that’s what Mana had wanted. The innocence showed him how to fight the creatures, and so he did. Then he walked away from the battle, black blood staining the ground with pentacles.

"Keep walking Allen."

Mana told him that. So, he would keep walking. Never standing still. Not until the day he died and again joined Mana. Traveling around the world, forever happy because the he would have Mana and Mana meant everything.

"Keep walking Allen." 

And so, he did.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ******= change in point of view/place :)

Allen walked down the streets in London. Under the cover of darkness, he hunted the creatures. It had been three years since he had lost Mana to one of the creatures. For those three years he had been traveling the country, hunting and performing, both because it was what Mana would have wanted, it mattered less to Allen than it once had. When he was younger Mana was the only thing that made him get up in the morning, now he had his own purpose. He defended people who couldn’t defend themselves, especially after how he had been treated as a defenceless child.

That was the last thought that went through his head as his cursed eye activated. The souls hung in the sky, a bullseye to hit each creature. Allan smiled a dark smile. He was ready to kill them, to free the souls that were trapped screaming. He headed to the nearest one, innocence activating and with a green glow, and with that the Earls Akuma count dropped.

*********

There was chaos in the black order. Reports were coming in of a rouge accommodator, who was not a member of order. The need for exorcist was increasing as the number of Akuma rose. They needed him on there side, why would they not want to join them, especially as reports told of the accommodator constantly on the move. Surly they would also like a place called home. With this the black order sent out both exorcists and finders to return this new exorcist to their new home.

*********

Adam was sitting at the table in the ark. He was planning to coll3edct he family and give them their designated jobs for the for sealable future. After many years the time for the war to truly start had come, if the black order had thought that there were many Akum to destroy now, just wait until they had gathered together the army of Akuma. thousands of killing machines forever evolving into stronger and more powerful killers. It would be a glorious day of carnage when humans are destroyed. With that last thought he went to collect the family. Most who had been reincarnated were somewhere on the ark, apart from Tyki and Sherrell. One was easily contacted and the other would be contacted when he next arrived at his destination.

The earl laughed merrily and went off to find Road, he believes that she has Lero hidden away with her. She really did like to play with him, even if at times she ran off with him to unknown places. The human in is head screamed at him, screamed at him to stop the plans he had for human kind. It tried to change his mind remind him of times that this body had been helped by humans, that this body had once been human before it was twisted into a new form by black matter, but it was ignored the earl had become good at that over the years. Just like how the human had ignored him, he now ignored it.

***********

Tyki happily rode the train with the few people who had come to mean a lot to him. They chatted and played poker but in the back of his mind he suppressed the need to kill them, suppressed the desire of the Noah to take pleasure in the deaths of the enemy. He pushed it aside, for now he was happy, even if the Noah was not, and he wouldn’t change that moment for the world, even if to be truly happy he would have to change the world, kill off the humans and send them to the god that hated them.

Tyki pushed these dark thoughts out of his mind. The Earl did not need him at the current moment and therefor, it was his time to have fun. Soon he would be reunited with the family and then and only then would he and his Noah be truly happy. The whispering of the Noah in the back of his mind was ignored, but never gone.

************

The bookmen had chosen a side. This time they would join with the black order to record the history of this war. With that the bookman’s assistant became Lavi and they moved onwards to join their chosen side.


	7. Chapter 7

The earl stared down at the card the was about to deal out to his family. In this pack there was a card that he wished he didn’t have to give out. No, he did want to give it out, he wanted to kill that boy, it was the human inside that didn’t, he wanted to, he really did. He wanted to see the child’s body broken at his feet even as the human inside screamed and cried at the loss of such an innocent soul. He wanted to crush the body see the life leave his eyes. Destroy the reminders of what he was before, destroy that angry voice that reminded him so much of his other half. destroy the thing that filled that painful hole in his heart. He didn’t need that child or the man who haunted his dreams, the man who he had cared so much for but who had turned and killed him. The betrayer, the fourteenth. He would kill the remnants of that man within that child and then he would finally be free to destroy humanity with nothing stopping him. With nothing holding him back, giving him these emotions for people he didn’t even want to know about. Making him empathise. All he needed was his Noah family. That is all he ever needs, if he has them he could do anything. A sudden burning for his family sprung up. He wanted them in the Ark. Where they could be a family again. A family who isn’t hunted.

By the time these thoughts had entered the Earls head he was already sprinting towards the room where the family was waiting. There were still many missing from the family, but soon. Soon they would be together and that made Adam very happy. Even as Adam ran and skipped in joy, Mana sobbed, he wanted his family back he wanted what Adam had. A family. He longed for Allen, for Neha. Forever longing but never reaching his heart’s desire, and what made this burning loss in his soul even worse was that he knew he couldn’t save them from himself and that tore his soul in half, inflicting the worse type of pain imaginable. Mana could do nothing, absolutely nothing.

**************

 

Road was worried, Adam was never the same since that day, once he had to fight his own family, his own brother, he started to go missing. He would be gone for days at a time and then, she would be alone, the only company she would have would be a horde of Akuma. Then Skin came, suddenly she and Adam had family again, he came back more then, spending nights in the ark with them.

He still acted differently, different from they day when he was young and happy, when they were all together all fourteen of them. Then it happened. Mana was being consumed by Adam and the natural prosses of Noah overtaking human or them balancing each other out and then Neah realised that Mana was slowly but surely vanishing. For an age, Adam and Mana managed to perform a balancing act, to keep Mana alive and allow Adam to do his duty to destroy humanity. This was a balance that all Noah had to develop, otherwise they would be consumed, some manged to create that balance. Others didn’t, somewhere consumed by memory’s and emotions so much stronger than them. Mana was being consumed and Neah refused to accept it. 

He fought hard to keep Mana with him, he didn’t want to lose him, and when Adam completely took over, he fought the earl, naively thinking that that would be all it would take to allow Mana to remerge. Little did he know that he would be the cause of Mana’s resurgence from the depths of his mind and cause the split from Adam. It was when you came down to it all Neahs fault. It was his fault that Adam was suppressed. It was the fourteenths fault that Mana had to be forcefully suppressed rather than be naturally supressed, kindly shut away in his memory’s, rather than face the destruction of his spices, unable to do anything. Give no rest, seeing all the death that Road knew he would never want to see. Everything that went wrong was Neahs fault. Yet Road couldn’t bring herself to hate him and for that she hated herself.

************

The ground was drenched black in Akuma blood. Panicles had long ago faded on the dust that was once people who had tried to uselessly defend themselves against something they didn’t know. The black order was still days away, they were useless in Allen’s eyes. Always arriving too late. Too late to save the innocent. Too late to help release those poor twisted souls. They were useless. Leaving things like this to an unknown. For all they could know he could be another Akuma, destroying others to get stronger. Even when they see this carnage, they won’t investigate. They will not try to see who helped them in what was there ‘sacred duty’. This title for what they did make Allen spit on them. They killed. They is no pride, no joy, no reward for the death of the Akuma. Souls were released from torment but that still left behind grieving family and friend. Still left children parentless and happy couples are left all alone. There is no kindness in war, this is something both Allen and the Noah understood. If the Black order did is unknown.

They perform horrific acts in the name of a god who to Allen’s knowledge only preached peace, yet their warriors tried to save every single soul they came across. They twisted the words said out of shape to fit their own perverse desires. If that was made them sleep well at night, then so be it. God is a concept outside of Allen’s understanding. For Allen, God was something send souls to. He was to Allen the concept of peace. Peace from pain, suffering, hatred and everything he had to experience on this earth. In Allen’s opinion very, few people ever deserved to reach that kind of peace. He knew of Mana and few other souls of would deserve it, he hoped they got it. He hoped they were watching over him, softly smiling when he sent another soul back to where they belonged. God was glorious to the dead, but to the should living on the ground less so. That was pain and loneliness, it always had been and always will be.

The curse eye activating made Allen rise out of his thoughts. He had thought he had destroyed all the Akuma in the vicinity of this desolate village, but he was wrong. This is what he now lived for. He lived for the Akuma, he lived to send them to peace and if that one day brings him to peace then, so be it but until then he will fight.


	8. chapter6

The moon hung in the nights sky, illuminating a teen perched on edge of a roof. His eyes were closed, and he was softly humming a tune under his breath. The lullaby was letting Allen relax, it reminded him of days long gone when he and Mana would sit together, softly singing and then Mana would tell story’s. A story that told of a world at rest, everyone at peace, no wars, life was happy for all and death was just that death. It was a concept that he had loved at the time. It was a future he had wished for, where he was safe, not mocked or beaten for something he could not help. It was not until Mana had gone that Allen had finally realised his chance at a world like in the stories was also gone. These nights where Allen looked off into the night skies were becoming more common, the nightmares that plagued him of a desolate land with a reflection that was not his happened every time his closed his eyes, that was a world he didn’t want to see.

 

Then started the sleep walking, or he hoped that was what it was. Every time he awoke he was never where he fell asleep, memories of his childhood where Mana would disappear in the night haunted him. He knew deep down what was happening to Mana was happening to him as well, but what that was he didn’t know. There were days where he felt uncomfortable in his own skin, it made him want to tear it off. To remove the feeling ingrained into him of his skin being dirt that should be removed, that he should remove the outer coating of humanity and be reborn again into something new, this was compared to the days where he awoke, high on happiness, this happiness making him feel like nothing in the world could touch him. Then he would look around and see the carcases. Dead Akuma would litter the ground, pentacles soaking into the surrounding area, and then unable to help himself, he would look closer. See the mangled corpses of men, women and children who had got in front of the devil that caused this slaughter. He soon realised that what ever had caused this did not distinguish between friend and foe. To it everything was against it. Allen fear that, that monster was him, he feared that he had killed all these people.

 

Once someone was alive when he awoke. They sobbed and cried. He screamed about a white devil. He hiccupped through a story of bloodshed, that started of describing a saviour, who protected them from the other monsters, but the saviour turned on those who he was protecting. Cutting them down as they ran away, killing them where they kneeled begging to be allowed to live. The white devil had not listened. The man described how he had hidden and done nothing but watch as his family and friends had been killed at the hand of blood splattered white. After this the man wouldn’t move. He wouldn’t speak. He was dead while his heart still beats. Allen left him where he sat, unable to do anything for the man.

 

This lead to the insomnia that now plagued Allen. He feared sleep, so he would not sleep he would guard this city at night. Defeat the Akuma, save the people and repent for actions he didn’t remember but knew he performed. He would save them all, even from himself.

 

*********

 

_They didn’t deserve him. They didn’t deserve his protection, his love, his ability to care for them even while they ruined him. Allen only needed him and nobody else. He would keep Allen safe. Allen was his and only his. He would defend Allen against the humans corrupting touches, even if he had to kill every human that came close to him. That was his policy keep away from **his** Allen and you could keep your life come close to Allen and you would lose it.  Allen only needed him. He could provide any comfort Allen needed. Him and only him._

 

***********

 

**They hated this body. The frail human existence they were reduced to, but they could not destroy this innocent soul as it encompassed then in a blinding white light that didn’t burn or blind. In their own way they loved this body as much as they hated it. When the time truly came they would defend this body and this soul for it had shown them light and kindness like never, all other people they had been bound to them would only defend this one. They didn’t want to leave this body unless it was for the original and the time since they had the original was long gone, so they moved on. This was there body. There soul, and they would defend it.**

 

***********

 

**Destroy, destroy, destroy, DESTROY**

****

_destroy, destroy, destroy, DESTROY_

**we will keep him safe, he doesn’t need you. Destroy the intruders, the corruption, burn them out of here.**

_never leave his side. With him forever. We will suffer the fire that you produce. He is everything to us._

**You make him suffer. All suffering is your fault. YOURS.**

_We give him purpose. You ensure he will never have a family. All will reject him because of you. He needs us not you._

 

H **e needs us. We keep him safe. We defend. We protect.**

_Never. Never have you made his life easy. Never have you stopped the darkness from haunting him. We have. We will always be there._

**_We will always be there for him. ALWAYS. Even if we must destroy our own. He is ours. We will never let him go._ **

 

**_We will protect him._ **

 

**_Even if we must work together._ **

 

**_He is more important that our opinions, our history with each other._ **

 

**_We will defend._ **

**__ **

**_We will protect._ **

**__ **

**_We save._ **

**__ **

**_Together. If we must._ **

****

*********

 

Neah contemplated the existence that was Allen. Only Allen could influence the two most powerful substances that existed to work together. Neahs original idea of destroying Allen’s soul to possess his body was becoming more unlikely by the minuet. The chance that his own Noah memories would reject him was increasing. He may just have to keep Allen alive. Trapped in his own mind, with only Neah in control of if he lived or died. This would _persuade_ the Noah and innocence with Allen to work with him as well.

 

Plans were hatched within the consciousness that was now left of Neah and all of them allowed Allen to live, Neah pretended that that was only to keep the others happy but inside he as glad he would not have to destroy his old friend and Mana’s dear child.


	9. Chapter 9

Mana wanted his home back, his brother and child. That was all that he wanted and as this want grew and changed it started to slowly drip into Adam. The insanity that had grown from three years trapped in his own mind was growing at a quicker pace than ever before and that changed Adam. Made him difficult. More unpredictable. No longer could be as rational as he once was, have the same instincts between who was friend and who was foe.

Adam wanted his child. Mana wanted his brother. Adam wanted Allen Walker to die yet every time they meet the urge to protect and defend overpowered all other emotions. Mana hated that feeling, Adam hated that they had to defend a child for no reason whatsoever, he loved that child, yet it must die. Adam was quick to remind himself that he didn’t care about that child, that he was separated from Mana. He is not Mana and Mana is not him. He is not Mana, Mana is him. No that’s wrong. He is Mana and Mana is not him but that still didn’t sound right. He is Mana and Mana is him. Adam couldn’t find a way for that mantra to sound right and even after Mana told this to himself once more, they couldn’t stop the bleeding into each other. Slowly merging and changing until not one man stood by himself but two combined into a single soul.

***************

Allen was trapped. His soul bound to a winged chair and either side of him stood figures. A white figure with a shadow of green ringed in deepest black and a black figure with a shadow of pure white. The figures glared at each other, almost trying to murder each other over the space they couldn’t cross due to Allen’s presence. Facing them was Neah. Standing proud and strong against two forces that could possibly destroy him. He didn’t shake when they stared at him. He explained his side of the war slowly and calmly. It was an alternative where they could stay with Allen and defeat any one who would come in there way. It was they only way. And they agreed. Allen would have to sleep for a bit longer but when he awoke, he would have two defenders. Two who would never let him go.

It was with Neah controlling the body that they met for the first time. The pain of seeing his brother driven insane by the memories of the Noah. Seeing how he couldn’t control his own instincts made Neah stop and for a moment give control to Allen.

Allen screamed. 

A glimpse of that man’s face was all he got before his was pushed back into his own mind, and even then, his scream reverberated around their skull. The sound of pure pain and anguish. The sound of a soul so torn the couldn’t hold themselves together. For years Allen had fought for Mana. Fought in his memory. Fought against the man who had harshly brought mana back to endure being an Akuma. Allen had tried to atone for the sin of calling mana back only to find out that mana was never gone. That he had fought Mana for this whole time. Allen still screamed as Neah fell to the ground covering his ears to stop the ear-splitting noise that had penetrated his soul. It hurt so much. All he could feel was pain. The physical pain that came with that noise and the mental anguish that came with this new discovery Allen had made. It was pure agony. He couldn’t see anything, hear anything, feel anything around him. For that moment in time all that existed was Allen’s agony and the other soul that had to endure it alongside him.

*****************

It was dark when the pain stopped. There was no colour to the world when Neah realised he could feel the texture of clothes on his body, he could hear his own heart beat in his ears but no matter how much he struggled, how rapidly he blinked. His vison did not return, he attempted to move his arm. There might be something in front of him blocking his vision. This attempt revealed that he was also immobile. His limbs would no longer respond to him. He couldn’t so much twitch a finger. Neah started to panic. He was trapped blind and immobile. With no sound apart from his own heartbeat in his ear. It was terrifying. Neah screamed, he thrashed even harder and yet still couldn’t move. He had been captured by who he did not know and that terrified him even more.


	10. Chapter 10

They dubbed him the destroyer of time. They said he would save them all. Neah didn’t believe it he couldn’t save anyone, even if the black order didn’t know this. He couldn’t save Allen or Mana and he didn’t want the responsibility of saving anyone else. He didn’t want that pressure put on him. He wanted to finish this war his way, that was the only way he could. He wasn’t fighting for the good of all mankind, one of the species that he hated above all. If it was Allen in control of this body maybe the answer would be different. Allen would be willing to save these people, even as he kept them at an arm’s length. He would be willing to fight for them, die for them, but he wasn’t. If they wanted him to work for them so desperately, it was there loss. They insisted that as an exorcist his home is in the black order. Neah laughed at this. The moment he had tried to kill a member of the Noah family he no longer had anywhere to go. From that moment onwards until he finally died for good he was hunted to the ends of the earth, no escape. Even if he was not hunted this dark and looming tower would never be his home, his only home is a field of golden wheat, a twisted tree truck and a manor, where he Allen, Mana and mother lived. All alone away from any war that would cause the death of all but two of them. If the black order insisted that he work for them he would, but he would use their resources, manipulate those who opposed him until they didn’t even realise that they were unknowingly doing what he wanted them to. Soon they would all be working for him and then he would finally be able to bring down the earl and save his brothers soul. Even if he died in the process.

With this decision Neah rose from the narrow bed he was lying on. For the time being he would be the destroyer of time, he would work with these people no matter how much they made him want to slaughter them. Now was the time for Neah to start working on them. First, he would win over those who were weak first. Showing how kind and caring he was to those who could not protected themselves, then all the strong would follow, falling in line behind him, doing what he commanded all because they were _friends_. Neah opened the black wood door and lefty the room only to greet the first person that he came across.

He tilted his head to the side slightly, plastered on a perfectly happy grin. He stuck his left hand out and in a sickly-sweet voice said.

 

“Hello, I’m Allen Walker. I hope we can be friends”

 

The girl with long hair looked shocked for a moment. All the finders had said how reluctant this boy was to allow any from of contact with them when he first woke up. That didn’t match the description of how the boy, Allen she reminded herself, was currently acting. She naively brushed off the worry’s she had as Allen being disorientated about where he was any why, he must have been terrified of being taken to helvaska among other sudden changes in his situation.

 

She shakes his hand. And with twelve words she sealed her fate, bound to the fake face of Allen walker. A mask controlled by strings, appearing to be her friend yet letting her fall to her doom.

 

“Hello, my name is Lenalee, I’m sure we will get on wonderfully.”

 


End file.
